SINCE THE SURGERY

I've been at home mostly. I go for walks and drives. In the first week, I was 90% dependent on my sweetheart. But now I am about 70% dependent on him. I had one friend visit me at home. I try to drive but I'm not ready yet. My pelvic area hurts afterwards, and I get tired really fast. I mostly only eat take out food. Except for breakfast. Or we go out to restaurant.

DAY AFTER SURGERY

The night of surgery and the entire day after, I cried for painkillers. I can't deal with pain in my abdominal cavity or pelvic area. Not even period pains could I bare. Every time I felt the pain coming on I begged for painkillers. Then when I went to care myself in the bathroom, I discovered I had an unplanned cut. Upon consultation with the medical tem I understood this sometimes happens.
Well, my daughter had to leave, and my friend of many years came to see me. After she left, I was told that I would be discharged. So I had informed my honey who had gone to make some preparations. He had been on the hospital site since the moment he brought me to the hospital. It had been over 24 hours. He exhibited pure love in that act.

POST SURGERY

I woke up with a very uncomfortable feeling. I didn't think I could speak. There was a tube of some sort in my nostril and I know that I needed it because of my sleep apnea, but didn't want to speak so I started flapping my limbs around. So I asked the medical professional that came over to have it removed.
They kept me there until it was time to move me to my room. I'm not sure when my honey came in to be with me, but I was transported to my room. The painkillers kept me in a blur for a long time. My younger daughter came in late that night, and stayed with me. But that didn't eliminate my honey who stepped out for a while and returned to my side later on. They both slept on my sides that night. One on either side.

SURGERY

I got into the Operating Room and all the doctors are there. The entire OR Team. I transfer from the stretcher to the Operating Table, and then the anesthesiologist, and the surgeon work on getting that IV done. Once that was complete I started to orient myself in the room. Then I saw that huge machine with many arms. Maybe between 15-18 arms. The operation was supposed to be all laparoscopic. I assumed that was the machine to be used. They set up my arms to be strapped down. And that's all I remember.

DAY OF SURGERY

The day of the surgery arrived and I got to the hospital, thanks to my male companion (I love him). He also was my Health Care Proxy. They called me in to prepare me, and got me all dressed but could not get the IV set up. With nothing to drink that morning (except a sip of water with meds) for well over 12 hours, it was difficult to get the vein. So I knew the doctors would have to get it done. This is not the first time this has happened to me.
I was tagged along with all my belongings. And from then on, every medical professional that approached me checked and asked me to spell my name, and give my date of birth. My gentleman and I were both nervous. He tried not to show it, and so did I. He kissed me before they wheeled me off for the surgery.

AM I PREPARED?

I believe I am emotionally prepared for the surgery. I've been writing this blog, thinking, and talking about this for the last few years. I've made peace with my situation, and now it's time to move forward. The way that I would feel after the surgery is what I am not sure of. I've been in a similar situation after a miscarriage. When I awoke from the anesthesia, I just broke out crying uncontrollable. I just know this is unpredictable.

DATE AND TIME

When 4:30pm came and I didn't hear from the appropriate office as to what time I am to be in the hospital tomorrow, I called them. I was told that I need to be at the hospital at 1:00pm. In my view I do not think the surgery would be until about 3:00pm. It's just a guess, I might be wrong.

MEDICAL CLEARANCE

I received my medical clearance on Monday from my cardiologist. He had to read the results from the blood work and EKG along with examining me before he determined that I was fit for surgery. So his secretary faxed the clearance paperwork to the appropriate place. I kept the original so that in case there was an issue, I can produce it. 

HEALTH CARE PROXY

This I found out yesterday is a very integral document to have my wishes met in the event that things did not go the way it's supposed to. I had to appoint two people to attend to the issues of my life should that be a need. Surgery and anesthesia is a very serious issue. It is not to be taken lightly. I have informed my health care proxies of their role on the day of the surgery. Over the weekend we may have a conference call that will detail all my wishes. May God be with me.

PRE-SURGICAL TESTING

Yesterday things could not get more real to me. I went in for pre-surgical testing and realized that I had to do and think about issues that I never thought of before. The appointment was not only about EKG, and blood work, but special instructions to adhere to between now and the day of the surgery.
Don't take vitamins, don't take aspirin or NSAIDs, don't eat from the night before, do take my regular high blood pressure pills with only a sip of water, don't even chew gum. Bring in the CPAP machine to be used in recovery and for any time I may fall asleep. Many do's and don'ts. Paperwork up the wazzoo to read, all my rights and laws that govern. I am going one day at a time with this, but it is harrowing, to say the least. 

MY LAST PERIOD

Well it's been a while since I've been here. But I am having the last period of my life right now, and I don't know if to celebrate or cry. I have had so many awful periods over the last few years that I have explored all my options that wanted to or was capable of trying. Now it is time for the biggest option of them all. I am about a week and a half from my hysterectomy.
Yes, my hysterectomy. I have finally decided to go through with it. In July or was it June I had three periods in 30 days. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. It was too much for me to bear. I couldn't deal with it any longer. So I called the Oncology Gynecologist and made an appointment to come in to discuss a date for surgery.
So now the date is set for September 18, 2014. And I would have 8 weeks off from my jobs to recuperate. During that time I would be able to reflect on my life and the direction it should take after this milestone.